My Christian single life

Welcome to my blog!

Hi everybody, over the course of the past month between posts, I have been doing a lot of thinking about what to blog about first or next. When I realized that i’d be posting on or around Valentines day, I knew that my post should some how relate to that. I know what your thinking: “But Carrie your title says Let’s Break up!?”, and your right, it does. This is because I wanted to talk about Valentines not only being a time for celebrating the great relationships and loves in your life, but also a time to reflect on the bad ones and break up with them.

I am talking about one specific relationship, that everyone is in and that isn’t good. I am talking about Fear. Move over, I am talking about irrational fear. The kind of fear that keeps us from moving forward, from following our dreams and ambitions. I am in the process of breaking up with fear, and let me tell you its not easy. It is, however, very possible. In this post I’m going to talk about fear, types and meanings, why breaking up is good and why its important to have a break up arsenal or toolbox. Let’s get started!!

What is Fear anyway?

Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. A feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone. The likelihood of something unwelcome happening.

Fear is definitely an unpleasant emotion. Fear can be broken down into 2 types, irrational and rational. Rational fear is the fear of something real and that could actually happen, like getting hit by a car if you run into traffic. Irrational fear, however, is the fear of something imaginary or very unlikely to happen, like fairies coming to kidnap your baby. I have an IR, I’m afraid to come to a complete stop in my car (which is an automatic) while driving up hill for fear it will roll backwards out of control. Whenever I come to a hill, and I know I might have to stop or I do stop, my heart races, I get shaky and I start to panic.

I have no idea where this fear came from, I learned to drive in Oregon on rural mountain, yes mountain, highways. This fear came about after I moved back to California and it keeps me from driving places I’d really like to drive to. I am afraid to drive in San Francisco and I still have moments of fear when in Santa Cruz. This is the fear that I am trying to break up with.

The break up…

Breaking up is hard to do, no matter what or who your breaking up with. I decided it was time to break up with Fear when I got the new car. I realized in the new car, don’t ask me why it took a new car for my eyes to be opened, that fear was distorting my vision, it made every hill I drove up to look like Mount Everest, even when it was just a speed bump. Yea it does that, fear also has siblings, I’m sure you’ve met fear’s little sister, Anxiety, who is always on fears heels. Where fear is anxiety is. There is also depression and paranoia, to name a few.

I really wanted to start this blog, but the minute I made my first post, fear set in. It whispers: your gunna fail, no body will read your blog, its to much work and you won’t have time for the other things you like doing…so on and so forth. I’m not going to lie, fear is the “ex” that keeps coming back no matter how many restraining orders you get, and it always seems to have the key to your heart and mind no matter how many times you think you changed the lock. Still I say, break up!! Don’t do it alone though, have your arsenal or tool box handy at all times!!

My Arsenal!

 "For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power,and 
   love and sound judgement" 2 Timothy 2:7

You can’t quit cold turkey! In my arsenal I have God, obviously, friends and family to support me and my crazy ideas, bible verses and music. 2 Timothy 2:7 is a good, but also check out, John 10:10, Psalm 23:4, and Romans 12:12. I am sure there are MANY more scriptures that will help with the struggle of breaking up with fear. I have been blasting The Break up song by Francesa Battistelli whenever I feel overwhelmed by my fear. Also, do be afraid or ashamed to Fear out. Whenever I hear it’s all to familiar whisper in my head, I call it out: “I know what you are, your Fear, and I’m not listening to you!! You don’t even need to yell it out loud, but I find that when I can yell it out loud I do.

In conclusion.

I hope this post helps those of you out there struggling with fear. I want each and everyone one of you to live up to your fullest potential and break free of the fear that holds you back from taking that class, getting the dream job, asking that guy/girl out this valentines day, or even driving to San Francisco!! You can also add me to your arsenal or toolbox! Drop me an email or a comment and Ill respond, if you need prayer, Ill pray for you. Don’t forget to check out those verses, and I found a great article while doing my research from The Praying Woman called 3 biblical reasons to break up with fear by Kia Stephens.

Blessing and love, and Happy Valentines day!! ~Carrie~


Just a single Christian woman navigating through life with the Lord as my compass.

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1 Comment

  1. This is a great post! I think for anyone single or married, Valentine’s day brings a mixture of emotions and you give us great food for thought. Thanks for sharing.

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