This post is going to be raw. I’m not going to worry about how great my content sounds or whether my SEO says it’s readable. This is me unedited and completely honest.
Over the last few days I have shed quite a few tears. Tears of joy at seeing a spark of humanity in the midst of the protesting chaos. Tears of sadness over seeing peoples lives destroyed by the looting and destruction of these so called protests. I was moved to tears by a powerful speech by a young man on Facebook and last but not least, tears of outrage.
Yes, like many Americans , I too was outraged when I saw the video clip of the tragic unnecessary killing of George Floyd. I was ready to wave my angry finger at the injustice of the world. I’m not someone who joins protests, but I had a whole different post planned for this blog on my feelings of racial injustice.
I was stopped by a bible verse that kept popping into my head. Matthew 7: 3-5, it says( with my own touch):
“Why worry about the speck in your Brother/Sister’s eye when you have a log in your own eye. How can you think of saying, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye when you cannot see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the long in your own eye, then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your Brother/Sister’s eye”
Thinking about this verse stopped me dead in my tracks. In my desire to point angry fingers at others, did I even think about the three fingers pointing back at me? No I didn’t. (Go ahead point your finger, and then check your hand, there are in fact three fingers pointing back you).
I asked myself, Can I say without a doubt that I am not in anyway racist? Again, no, I can’t. I have made several mental judgments of people based on their race and what they are wearing.
Sometime back I was in a near miss auto incidence. Badly shaken, I pulled over once I got to safe spot. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw the man from the other car running towards my car. He was Hispanic, wearing black saggy jeans and an over-sized black t-shirt. I immediately thought he is a gang member and he is coming over here to mess me up. I was scared.
Turns out he is a family man, his wife and kids still in the car. He was upset with me and came over to verbally scold me for not seeing his car in the intersection. We talked for all of about 3 minutes and then parted ways.
I’ve mentioned before that I work in a drug store as a Pharmacy Technician. There have been many times I have gotten nervous when an African American man passes by my pharmacy and thought that they might be there to rob us. This is not ok. How long before it’s no longer in my head? How did I get this way?
Fear got us here and we kept trying to use fear to get us out. We cannot change the country this way. We have to change ourselves first. It was hard to see that in myself, but I’m glad God pointed it out. Regardless of how I got this way, I need to change myself before I try and change others.
I’ve decided that from now on when I find myself in a situation were fear is trying to make decisions for me I’m going to stop and ask myself this: What would Jesus do?
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Love and Blessings